top of page
Anchor 1
  • Grasshoppers are Nature’s rednecks and are always found with a wad of tobacco in their mouths. They have voracious appetites.

  • If you were born under the Grasshopper Sign: You are boisterous and athletic. You don’t tolerate people who disagree with you. You will happily abandon a friend or family member for a good meal. You tend to be disorganized and opportunistic.

  • Famous Grasshoppers include Betty White, Dolly Parton, Abraham Lincoln, and Kid Rock

Grasshopper
  • Bees are very organized and get things done with a minimum of effort. Most bees are solitary, though some like large groups. They are slow to get angry but watch out if you manage to piss them off.

  • If you were born under the Bee Sign: 

You get along well with most others but you’re thinking seriously about stinging that one asshole at work. You work slowly and steadily toward your goals. It really pisses you off when someone steals your honey.

  • Famous Bees include Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs, The Notorious B.I.G. and Barbi (yes, the doll)

Bee
  • Ants are very hard working and cooperative. They have a wicked sense of humor and love casual sex. Ants believe that they have shown that socialism can be very successful, and it’s hard to argue with them about that.

You work hard and party hard. You want to have friends and comrades around you at all times and feel lost when you find yourself alone. You think the last person you met is pretty cute and you’d like to get to know them intimately.

  • If you were born under the Ant Sign:    

  • Famous Ants include Vincent van Gogh, Leonardo da Vinci, Aretha Franklin, and Lady Gaga.

Ants
  • Beetles are clumsy and hard working. They eventually get the job done. Of the hundreds of beetle species on the earth, only a few roll shit into little balls. Beetles tend to be secure and trust their hard shells to keep them safe.

  • If you were born under the Beetle Sign:    

You’re not a good planner, but get things done through sheer hard work. No matter how messy your life and work get, you always look clean and shiny.

  • Famous Beetles include Charlie Chaplin, Robert Oppenheimer, and Queen Elizabeth III.

Beetle
  • Termites are weird and reclusive. They spend most of their time underground and don’t really understand life in the light. Termites fart copious amounts of methane and other “pleasant” gases. They’re useful if you need to start a campfire, but otherwise others around them should try to stay upwind.

  • If you were born under the Termite Sign: 

You’re socially awkward and tend to say things that other people know better than to say out loud. You’re likely to be that one strange friend that people tolerate more than they like.

  • Famous Termites include Malcolm X, Clint Eastwood, Marilyn Monroe, and Prince. 

Termite
  • Cockroaches are paranoid, skittish, and egotistical. They only trust their close family and others that they can manipulate.

  • If you were born under the Cockroach Sign:  

You live off the leftovers of others but feel entitled and act as if you have accomplished great things. You get along well with stink bugs.

  • Famous Cockroaches include Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Mike Tyson, and Sylvester Stallone

Cockroach
  • Cicadas are natures vibrators- pick one up sometime if you don’t believe it. Cicadas are clumsy fliers and not very smart. But what do you expect from a bug that just spent 17 years living underground?

  • If you were born under the Cicada Sign: 

You are easy-going and bumbling. You probably have ADHD. People like having you around for comic relief. Your best career possibilities are as a manual laborer or greeter at a big box store.

  • Famous Cicadas include Benedict Cumberbatch, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Barak Obama, and Kylie Jenner.

Cicada
  • Moths are beautiful but tend to keep to themselves during the day. But watch out when the sun goes down- moths love artificial light and can party all night.

  • If you were born under the Moth Sign: 

You’ve probably been through rehab more than once. You’ve recently gotten your life together but every day is a challenge. You’re secretly jealous of butterflies.

  • Famous Moths include Byonce Knowles, Ron DeSantis, Bill Murray, and Amy Winehouse. 

Moth
  • Crickets are obsessed with communication, but they want to do it from a distance. Nocturnal and secretive, crickets make good secret agents.

  • If you were born under the Cricket Sign:

You are a natural performer who loves singing. You like to have friends but keep your distance and have trouble getting close to others.

  • Famous Crickets include Serena Williams, Vladimir Putin, Bruno Mars, and Usher.

Cricket
  • Praying mantises are intelligent and calculating. If a praying mantis does someone a favor, they expect something in return. They are always thinking a few moves ahead, and anyone interacting with them should be cautious.

  • If you were born under the Praying Mantis Sign:

You are very observant and socially cold. You believe you can solve many problems by eating whoever offends you. You are neat and tidy, even when eating a big juicy bug.

  • Famous Praying Mantises include Kim Kardashian, Jeff Goldblum, Pablo Picasso, and Bob Ross.

Mantis
  • Butterflies are beautiful and egotistical. Butterflies look erratic and flighty but they have clear goals and are good at getting where they want to go.

  • If you were born under the Butterfly Sign:

You have an overinflated sense of self-worth, but you are insecure. You think others deserve only short look at your beauty before you fly off again. You are determined to succeed at your goals and will happily fly around any obstacles you find in your path.

  • Famous Butterflies include Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj, Joe Biden, and Bruce Lee

Butterfly
  • Dragonflies are athletic, witty, and energetic. They tend to be loners but can be good friends if you get to know them.

  • If you were born under the Dragonfly Sign: You’re easy going and things seem to come easy to you. People like being friends with you. You have a big appetite but are finicky about what you eat.

  • Famous Dragonflies include Samuel L. Jackson, Lebron James, Stephen Hawking, and Elvis Presley. 

Dragonfly
bottom of page